Thursday, June 16, 2011

We are all mothers

I've become very disheartened and saddened recently by the mothering community. Every time I turn around some one is bad mouthing some one else for their choices as a mother because what they choose to do is different. Friendships are being dissolved over different opinions on co-sleeping or breast feeding. Mothers at each others throats for the mer fact that one chooses to let a baby cry to sleep while the other choose to not too. It seems that we have all forgotten that we are all in this journey of motherhood together.

There is no set guidelines telling us as mothers that we must parent our children a certain way. When we have our children they don't come with instruction manuals. We as mothers rely on our own instincts to raise our children and not every mother will have the same. For one mom her instinct may be nurse a baby every time it cries while another mothers instinct tells her to sooth the crying in other ways. Some mothers choose to breast feed until their children are toddlers others choose not to. some believe in letting the child wean them selves from breast or bottle while others help the weaning along. We choose different paths as mothers because we are different and what works for one might not work well for the other.

To often we condemn each other for our choices as mothers with out really looking at the situations of others. Just because a mother doesn't breast feed her baby doesn't necessarily mean she didn't want too. In some cases that is what happens but it's her right as that childs parent to make the decisions she feels are best for both the child and for her. In other cases there are underlying issues that have happened to cause breast feeding to be impossible. Either way it is wrong and judgmental of any one to condemn a mother for her choice as a parent. Her choice is not your own and doesn't effect your parenting so why fight over it.

It seems like we become so blinded by trying to do the best thing for our own children that we start becoming snobbish towards women who mother differently. We wonder why people don't want to hear our opinions on cloth diapering, co-sleeping or breast feeding. Would you want to listen to some one talk if all they did was ridicule the way you parent and act as though they are so much better than you? Our intentions maybe right but our means of doing so come across as harsh accusations.

Mothering is hard enough with out the judgments of others. We need each other for support and friendship. Even if we don't agree with differences of opinions doesn't mean that we can't support a mother just for being a mother. We all have at least one common goal and that's to raise the best children that we can and to watch them grow into the adults they are meant to be, disposable using or cloth wearing, crib sleeping or co-sleeping, bottle feeding or breast feeding, we all try to raise our babies the best we know how so they can be the best that they can be.

3 comments:

  1. Couldn't have said it better myself!

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  2. So true... just found you via your Cloth Crusader f'book page.

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  3. Fantastic issues altogether, you just won a logo new reader. What might you suggest about your put up that you made a few days ago? Any sure?

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